Decisions Desisions

I'm afraid the time is coming soon for me make a decision to place pops in a home. The stress of work, adult daycare, and his mental state are rapidly affecting my own health. To think of him in such an environment is difficult. He's my father, not an invalid. Its hard to think of a parent in that way.

I am neither young or old but 47 is too young (I think) to have a parent in an "old folks home". I remember my father well into his sixties when my grandmother was starting to lose her grip on reality. Here I am ten years after she pasted away having to deal with my father in a state of mind much worse than my grandmothers state when she passed away. I think dad was the lucky one. Grandmother broker her hip and never made it out of the nursing home. Her dementia was far less debilitating than my fathers. She was independent up until the time of her accident. Out on a walk with her dog Princess when something happened. She claims a stray dog from the neighborhood knocked her down. My dad, at the time, had doubts with her story. Whether she thought it was true was irrelevant. He thinks she tripped over her own dog or maybe even feel off the curb. Regardless she was out walking her dog; something my father could never do (even if we had a dog) in his current state of mind.

Pops is bad though. His Brother Lyle has no idea really whats going on. He knows dad is slipping but the last time he visited, September I believe, dad was in a different state of mind. Not entirely but able to visit and have a semi lucid conversation with her brother. I called Helen, my aunt after their last visit with dad just to see what she thought. She said she thinks he was confused as to who they were at times during the visit. Somethings thinking they were the parents of people he grew up with in Colorado Springs. Then he would ask about Tim and Dale (their two boys) like he knew exactly who they were. That's the way this things goes, they will get some facts right but mix them up in the same sentence or same thought with is totally in left field. Crazy. Lyle has Parkinson's disease. it was only diagnosed within the last six month and but I think he's rapidly having difficulties. I can hear it in his voice.

I quizzed him on the way home from daycare today. The simple questions how old are you? Whats you birthday? How old are your kids, Mike and Jeff? What was the name of your wife? What was the name of your employer? It was interesting what he got right and what he got wrong. According to him he's around 57 years old. He knows he wife is Donna but thinks they were married around 6 years. Mike and Jeff of 9 to 11 years old; sometimes their the same age sometimes their different age. It depends on the date. (that's what he said). Had no clue who he worked for. He named a few companies I never heard of. He worked for the Willard-Brent company for 30+ years and didn't mention that one. He's slipping away.

I got him into a different daycare provider after his current one changed things up on me today. I walk in today and was met at the the door by one of the administrators telling me because of the ownership change he had to get new forms from his doctor. They faxed them to his doctor over the weekend. They hadn't received anything back as of this morning and if they don't by this afternoon he can't come back tomorrow. Gee thanks for the heads up! Its amazing to me how people in the "business" can be so clueless as to the difficulties of caring for someone while trying to deal with the rest of life. By the time I got there in the afternoon they informed me that they did in fact receive his information from his doctor BUT the rate starting tomorrow is 40% more AND I have to pay a month in advance. SEE YA! Rat Bastards.